Sorrow — Update

My friend (I'll call him "Zack") arrived from upstate New York late Friday afternoon and after a brief tour of my hometown we headed in to Boston and had dinner at the restaurant Scollay Square where Seth the waiter had worked. We had a nice dinner, and he enjoyed the restaurant. We then went to a nearby theater to catch a showing of the movie "50/50" which he had seen and wanted to share with me. Unfortunately, it was sold out. So we went back home and watched the ball game on TV for a while. I dozed off. He went to bed, and I did so as well.

When I got up in the morning, I followed my usual routine and didn't bother putting anything on until it was time to leave the house to go to Mass. I figured Zack wouldn't mind, since he had spoken approvingly of being naked. I didn't directly ask how he felt about it, and he didn't volunteer that he had any problem with it. I hope he was okay with it. Before leaving for Mass, I made a pot of coffee for him.

At Mass, there is a short part called the Prayer of the Faithful, and at the church I went to, they invite the congregation to mention things to pray for, so I said, "For the repose of the soul of [the young man] let us pray to the Lord," and all responded, as usual, "Lord hear our prayer."

The funeral home was about a 45 minute drive from my home, and since Zack was not going to come back with me, we decided that I would lead him there. Visiting hours were from 11:00 to 1:00 with a memorial service at 1:00. Zack thought that 11:30 would be a good time to leave, and we actually headed out at about 11:25; but with delays we didn't arrive until about 12:30.

Zack knew many of the people there, and they greeted him warmly. The young man who died had muscular dystrophy; but, as many of those who spoke pointed out, he had always maintained a positive attitude, without complaining. Instead he did what he wanted to do, finding ways to get around his disability. Zack spoke of his five years as the personal care attendant for the young man and of the love in action which his mother had always shown. The mother and son were atheists, but I think of the words in the Bible: God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God and God in them.

The lesson that we were left with is to pay attention to what you can do, rather than what you can't, and to enjoy what you can do and to do what you want. To me this doesn't mean to give in to every whim, but to realize what is important, what is worthwhile, and what is good, and to take advantage of opportunities to do those things, rather than to pursue things which ultimately aren't worth doing. He realized that his time was limited, and he seems to have decided to make the most of it. But for those of us who do not have a debilitating disease like his, it is still a fact that our time is limited, no matter how long it may be, so we too should be spending it wisely, living in the love of our families and friends and pursuing our abilities and talents.

It is a time of sorrow for many at the loss of one they loved from their lives. They will always carry his memory in their hearts. As a Christian, I hold the hope that they will meet him again with joy when their lives on this earth are completed.