Herod's Song and Theodicy

Back around Palm Sunday, somebody posted a link to the "Jesus Must Die/Hosanna" clip from the 1973 movie of Jesus Christ Superstar. From there I went through several versions of that scene and others, including a number of "Herod's Song." There are several good versions, but, as is often the case, I like a version where high school students do it very well. This one is from New Ross (from the names, I'm guessing it's the one in County Wexford, Ireland).

(There are several professional versions linked at YouTube, if you prefer.)

Anyway, the song is a clever development of the line at Luke 23:8. "Herod was very glad to see Jesus; he had  been wanting to see him for a long time, for he had heard about him and had been hoping to see him perform some sign." But Jesus did nothing and said nothing. And it occurs to me that as a rule, the miracles of Jesus are responses to the faith of people in some kind of need, not merely magic tricks to convince the people to believe in him. So when Herod says things like, "Prove to me that you're divine: Change my water into wine," he's got it backwards. He has neither the need nor the faith for Jesus to respond to.

One of the great issues that stands in the way of faith is the problem of evil: if God is loving and omnipotent, why does this happen? Sometimes it is asked by people of sincere faith who have just suffered some great loss. Sometimes it shakes or destroys their faith. Sometimes, on the other hand, it can be asked sneeringly, by someone who is trying to cast doubt on the faith of others. In those cases, it is like Herod's Song; and we can reply to the scoffer that God is under no obligation to answer your demands.

Would Herod really have believed if Jesus had performed a miracle? Talking to John the Baptist didn't convert him. He might have been surprised and impressed, but he doesn't seem to have been interested in the gospel, just in spectacle.

Herod's Song reminds us that God does not perform on command from us. The whole story of Jesus' suffering and death reminds us that God does not remove pain and sorrow from this life. But Jesus' resurrection promises us that all earthly pain will end and God can give eternal life.

Belief and Orientation: Reconciling the Contradiction II.

My homosexual orientation is something I consider a given. I don't profess to know exactly how it came to be. I have described here when it first manifested itself explicitly in my life at age 12 and how I came to realize what it was at age 16. I made unsuccessful attempts to change it, but eventually concluded that it was so strongly established that further attempts at change would be wasted effort.

Since I think God created sex as a way for us to be an image of his creative love, I find entirely reasonable the teaching of the Catholic Church that my same-sex attraction goes in a direction inconsistent with the meaning of sex. In the word the Church uses, my sexual appetite is disordered. Not my fault: I didn't choose it. Not God's fault any more than any other disorder in the world: he permits it, but I don't think he miraculously intervenes at our conception or some later time to say, "Zap, you're gay." Not anybody else's fault, because nobody else intended it either.

But if God loves me, am I not as much entitled to the joy and the pleasure of sexual activity as any heterosexual person? In a word, no. I have to go back and give some more of my beliefs. I believe that God's love for us is shown most clearly in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. I believe that if there was ever a possibility for perfect happiness on this earth, sin destroyed it, and all of us have to put up with some elements of pain, suffering, and sorrow in our lives. Some people get dread diseases, some people lose loved ones to death at times or in circumstances that are especially painful, some people are homosexual. I believe that Jesus calls me and all his followers to take up our cross daily, that is to accept the suffering and sorrow which we cannot overcome, and that somehow it gets joined to what he did to restore to us the everlasting joy beyond this life which is God's plan for us.

In other words, I don't think God is obligated to give any of us happiness in this life. I think we should be profoundly grateful in the first place simply for our existence, and then for whatever happiness we do experience on this earth.  I look forward to eternal joy.

I can see that I may have missed out on a lot of happiness because I have chosen to act in accordance with my beliefs. To do otherwise, I would have had to change my beliefs (not easy to do), or to try to tell myself that I had changed my beliefs when I hadn't, or to behave contrary to my beliefs. But I also think that I had problems other than my choice to be celibate, and that those problems also contributed in considerable degree to my loneliness through much of my life. I really believe that with support, such as that offered by Courage, which did not exist when I was growing up, and with counseling and therapy if necessary, it is possible for a homosexual person to find emotional intimacy and true happiness in a loving "Platonic" friendship or friendships.

So how do I explain myself? I see no reason to believe that I am entitled to sexual fulfillment. I see myself as one whom God loves infinitely and unconditionally. I see my homosexuality as merely one instance of the mystery of why God lets pain, sorrow, and struggle exist. I cannot explain the mystery, but I cannot let that mystery drive me away from God. It's a matter of accepting creation as I see it. I live my life in the joy of God's love and in the sorrow of an imperfect world and in the hope of a life extending beyond this earthly existence where the pain of this existence is vastly outweighed and makes it all worth it.

I hope this answers the anonymous commenters question. I hope it doesn't sound too preachy, but how else can I say what I believe when it happens to be what my church teaches? How can I leave my beliefs out of it? I hope it tells other readers why I choose not to engage in conduct which they think is not at all wrong.