Things Got Busy

Nothing too spectacular has been happening, but there's been a fair amount of little stuff to attend to — meetings, appointment with my dentist's cleaning woman (hygienist, to use the official title) (BTW, the dentist is also a woman). Working on the next schedule for liturgy ministers (people other than the priest who have special functions at Sunday Mass) was quite time-consuming for a couple of days earlier this week. I went to a symphony concert last week, and to two this week. Check out my music blog if you want more info about those.

Last week, I sent off an e-mail to "Tim" from the Race Committee, asking if he might want to take in a show with me sometime. He replied that he had "a lot on [his] plate" right now, but we could discuss it when sailing season resumes. It used to be that an answer like that would have me feeling completely rejected. But now I see it as less drastic. For one thing, it was probably an unexpected invitation. For another, he did indicate a willingness to explore the idea. So I'm choosing to take a glass-half-full attitude toward it. And even if nothing ever comes of it, it's not the end of the world. It was worth asking.

Immediately after posting the above, I came across a link to this article by James Martin, S.J., pointing out that it is the official teaching of the Catholic Church that we must treat homosexuals with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. I think it's worth reading. Some of you may have reactions similar to some of the commenters, but what he quotes is official and I think deserves to be known.

Friends, or at Least, Friendly Acquaintances

     As I mentioned in the recent post titled "BTW," I want to tell you about my time at the Race Committee Holiday Party. (It was on the last Thursday of Advent, but Hannukah had started, so I guess calling it a Holiday Party is legit.) I should also tell about my evening with the priest I mentioned briefly in the third paragraph of this post.

     On several occasions, for example here, I've mentioned that I'm on the Race Committee at the yacht club I belong to. And in the same place that I mentioned the priest, I also mentioned a guy on the Race Committee. I'll call him "Tim," but don't confuse him with a blogger who doesn't use that name on the internet. He's in his late 40's, I think, and single. He started showing up three summers ago on Thursday evenings when we run some small races. For those races, we are ashore at the club, making signals to the racing boats in the harbor. So it was easy for him to join us. He seemed to be interested in talking to me, and we'd generally sit together at the meal that sailors and committee members would have after the races. After that summer he was made an official member of the Committee. He always responds promptly when I need to send an e-mail to Committee members, and last fall, when I sent one asking if anybody would be interested in sharing a table with me for dinner after a Race Committee party, he accepted almost instantaneously.

     So I've been thinking a friendship could develop. Tim was either at the party when my brother (also on the committee) and I arrived or he got there very soon afterwards. We got drinks and chatted. I was telling him about my theater- and concert-going, and he asked questions that showed real interest, I thought. I mentioned having begun my theater attendance with "The Laramie Project." He didn't know what it was so I explained. I figured that was enough of a hint to give him the idea that I was gay-friendly. But so as not to worry him if he's uncomfortable with "gaiety," I then mentioned some others, and he seemed quite interested in a couple. Just when I was ready to ask if he might like to join me sometime, a couple joined us and sat with us for dinner, and I never got the chance to ask that question. Still, I left the party convinced that he wants to be my friend. I don't think I want to officially come out to him, because he lives in this area and I need to be closeted irl, and I don't want a sexual relationship. But since he has never said anything indicating the least sexual interest in women, I think we can have an unspoken understanding. Now I've got to work up the nerve to e-mail him "out of the blue" and suggest going to the theater some time. If I don't do it reasonably soon, this season will have past, and I'll have to wait until next fall. So, strike while the iron is hot.

   Things didn't go quite so well with the priest a week earlier. There was nothing wrong. It was an enjoyable enough evening, but when he asked what I had been doing, I stupidly decided to tell him about my health scare at the end of my retreat. That got him all worried, even though I tried to assure him that it was really more a false alarm than anything else. So I never got to bring up opera and theater, as I did with Tim. Well, at least I'll probably get together with him for dinner sometime next month, and I can explore the possibility of including shows or concerts in our get-togethers.

     I guess I could sum it all up by saying that this month I made a little progress in my social life, a little progress in developing friendships, but not quite as much as I had hoped for.