Theology of the Body — 2011/06/26

"By reconnecting body and heart … Christ introduces a new ethos, a new way of living as an embodied person. … [H]e shows that holiness is about far more than following the rules. This is the ethos of redemption. … It is new and revolutionary for every sinful human being.

"Because of sin, the Apostle Paul writes, all of creation … longs for liberation, while human beings in particular 'wait eagerly for . . . the redemption of our bodies' (Rom 8:23).

"Christ did not come to redeem the 'spiritual' aspect of man and leave the body behind. All of Christ's work — the entire Gospel — is directed towards the redemption of the body.

" … His appeal to the beginning [at Matthew 19:8, when he tells the Pharisees that divorce wasn't allowed in the beginning] only makes sense in light of redemption. Without redemption, man would be in permanent bondage to lust and decay. It would be useless to appeal to the state of original innocence as a standard for our lives today.

"Christ does not change the Law. He confirms the commandment, 'Do not commit adultery.' At the same time, he leads us to the fullness of God's original intent for this command. … To the extent that our thoughts and actions are directed towards the redemption of the body, the man of lust gives way to the 'new man.' The way to nurture the new man within is by guarding our hearts and controlling our impulses.

"Sexual self-control is not simply about abstinence. It is not an emptiness, but a fullness. When we allow Christ to transform our desires, the true meaning of the body and the person is respected. Self-control protects the value — the attractiveness — of the other person, while lust only cheapens it.

"As eros is redeemed, our deepest longings are confirmed and strengthened. The heart finds its true voice. …

"The path of self-mastery is not easy,especially for a person who has grown accustomed to giving in to his impulses, rather than controlling them. If he perseveres, though, such a person will feel a growing sense of his own dignity. He will begin to experience the body as a gift, and sexuality as a sign of communion — a reflection of God's love. Freedom, the fruit of self-control, is the foundation of love between persons. This is why love can only flourish where there is purity of heart."

This was a bit longer than most of my posts on this topic because I found very little in this chapter that did not seem necessary to include.

Museum — 17th Century Dutch Art

A week ago I (finally) went to the Peabody Essex Museum in Salem, Massachusetts, to see the exhibition of paintings from the private collection of Eijk and Rose-Marie van Otterloo. Apparently the van Otterloos have often lent paintings from their collection to museums here and in the Netherlands, but they have never done such a large exhibition. If I understood correctly, this is their entire collection. It ran in Salem from February 26 through June 19. It will move on to San Francisco and be at the Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco from July 9 through October 2. Then it's on to Houston, where it will be at the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston from November 13, 2011 through February 12, 2012.

I found it very worthwhile. Of course, everybody's taste differs, but there were paintings in just about all the genres represented that really caught my eye: landscapes, seascapes, village and country scenes, interiors, and portraits. There is also a cute painting of a little sleeping dog.

The "catalogue" of the exhibition, as they call these things, is titled "Golden: Dutch and Flemish Masterworks from the Rose-Marie an Eijk van Otterloo Collection," and it's available through Amazon.com for under $41.00. (I bought it at the museum at list price of $65.00.) It's a big, heavy book, with 404 heavy stock pages, and, as an Amazon reviewer said, "All the works are beautifully illustrated, often with large, full-page reproductions, and a detailed presentation of each painting (description, meaning, provenance, exhibition history) accompanies each illustration." The same reviewer also said, "The collection's depth is absolutely breathtaking, from Rembrandt's 1632 Portrait of Aeltje Uylenburgh (the Van Otterloo's had to part with 18 works from their collection to be able to acquire it), to Saenredam's 1660 Interior of the St Bavokerk (only about 50 works by Saenredam have survived, most of them in museums), from Jacob Van Ruysdael's landscapes (three of them!) to Frans Hals's 1660 Portrait of a Preacher, etc." and, "An exceptional publication for an exceptional collection, and a must-have for any artlover's library."

So if you can get to the San Francisco or Houston showings, I think it will be well worth seeing. Whether or not you go, the book is a real bargain, IMO. You get to have and keep reproductions of all these beautiful paintings and pictures of the furniture from the same time and place which is also part of the exhibition; and it only costs you about twice or three times what you'd need to pay to get into the museum!

Retreat — March 2011 —No. 4: Homosexuality and Friendship

     Rather than continuing with a chronological account of my prayer life for the remaining seven days of the retreat, I think it would be better to cut to the chase(s), and treat some ongoing topics of the retreat as a whole.

     Early on, I mentioned to my retreat director that I have a homosexual orientation. I think that in such situations, it is important for the director (as it would be for any such advisor/counselor/therapist) to know about me. It was, unsurprisingly, an important element in subsequent meetings, the more so because the aids to prayer he had given me had a considerable focus on feelings and desires.

     The two desires that I noticed were for friendship (including non-sexual intimacy) and a better prayer life. My director suggested that in my prayer, I should let my fantasies run, and ask for what I want. This seems to have led to a misunderstanding, because when I let my fantasies run, eventually they can get to a point of fantasizing about sex (as is no doubt the case with all but the most tightly repressed). When I mentioned that, the director suggested that I should ask Jesus if I should have sex with men. I took this to mean that he thought Jesus would say, "Yes." But I didn't think I got that answer from the Lord. A couple of days later he must have sensed some withdrawal on my part, because he asked if something was troubling me, and I told him that I found it unsettling that he seemed to be suggesting that God might want me to engage in gay sex. He assured me that he had not meant that, and he did not want to encourage me in that direction.

     Apart from that wrong turn, we had some useful discussion of how I had effectively shut myself off from intimate friendships for fear of outing myself, living my life "looking over my shoulder," as he put it.  One of the other priests chose a song for Mass one day in which the singer speaks of being "afraid to show the love I mean" and feeling "unfit to follow Jesus." I found that a very poignant and moving description of my life of "looking over my shoulder."

     This led to consideration of times when I had failed to take advantage of opportunities for deeper and more intimate friendships. In differing ways, these included my father, a couple of college classmates and their wives, a couple of colleagues on the Race Committee and their wives, a former pastor in my parish, the guy in college who was in love with me, cousins on Prince Edward Island, and a few others. Then I started thinking of what prospects there might be for developing the sort of closeness which would enrich my life, make it more joyful. Perhaps the best possibility is my older brother. There are a few others who might also offer some opportunities for stronger friendships than now exist. But in every case, what I need to do is unlearn the wary, self-censoring reticence which has our friendships from getting closer.

     At one point, the director asked me if I'm happy. I didn't get a chance to answer the question to him, but as I pondered it, I came up with an answer: when I'm walking downtown, I have my head held high, a spring in my step, a smile on my face, and a song in my heart. Yes, I'm fundamentally happy. Perhaps I could be happier, but I am not desperate for better friendships, as enjoyable as they might be — which, I suppose, is why I've been able to remain so cautious about letting people get close to me. But the director made the point that I can't be close to God if I can't be close to other people.

     Overall, I'd say that in this area, I gained some very useful insights into myself and my relationships with other people. Since the retreat ended at the beginning of April, I have slowly, slowly, begun to apply those insights.

Retreat — March 2011 —No. 3

Just a brief reminder: In the first two posts of this series, I told of arriving at the retreat house on the evening of Wednesday, March 23, meeting my director that evening, gaining some insights from praying some psalm verses, and meeting with my director Thursday morning. At that time he gave me the guides for prayer — which I copied in my recent post on the retreat — and suggested some scripture passages for me to read prayerfully. You can find my earlier posts on this retreat as well as the one in December, 2009, by clicking the topic "retreat" in the list in the left margin. The quotes in this post and the previous one come from the journal I kept during the retreat.

     After my meeting Thursday morning with my director, I noted that "it has been about me — making myself perfect." Theologically, the main problem with this is that we can't make ourselves perfect by ourselves. Whatever degree of perfection we attain is a gift from God. What we do is merely to accept and cooperate with his grace. Beyond that, in my case that desire for perfection was in fact a desire to be better than everybody else, and a belief that I could be — pride.

     That afternoon, in my "examen," asking where God was that morning, I saw that he showed me myself in the Psalm, he encouraged me through my director, and he gave me the beauty of the snow that had fallen.

     Later in the afternoon, bringing feelings to prayer, I felt "secure, having come in from the cold, hopeful after [my director's] encouragement, anxious about" my duties and responsibilities which I had left behind at home.

     In the evening I felt "neutral, blah, empty, lonely, longing" and I felt that these feelings were "not good." I was "discontented" with them. I wanted "friendship," with one of my fellow retreatants as an object. I was basically "pleased" that I wanted friendship but "ambivalent" as well. I thought I was like "a pressurized container." As for God, he feels "sympathetic;" sees me as "lost, emotionally pitiable;" looks at me "tenderly, compassionately; he is "right [there], but I [didn't] quite feel it." Finally, asking myself what I wanted, I answered, "friends, human affection."

     The following morning, Friday, March 25 (the Feast of the Annunciation in the church calendar, when the angel told Mary that she would be the mother of the Messiah), I brought my feelings to prayer again, using my director's guide. This time I felt "anxious because not measuring up to God's call;" I wanted a fruitful life of service to God and the gospel; and I saw myself as being like "a car stuck in the snow — spinning wheels & going nowhere." I thought God felt "sad that I [didn't] trust him more, pleased with my desire, and bemused because I keep ignoring his calls [and procrastinate]."

     These moments of prayer  were what I brought to my director Friday morning.

Theology of the Body — 2011/06/15

"It is often thought that ethos — or morality — suffocates the spontaneous expression of eros. …

"Ethics is usually understood in the negative sense — as rules and condemnations. The Sermon on the Mount is often read in this way, too. Christ's teaching on lust is reduced to a prohibition, a limitation on our hearts. But when we look deeper, we see that Christ aims to liberate the heart from the constraints of lust.

"Everyone who accepts Christ's teaching is called to fullness. …

"Jesus' words … require us to examine not only our … behavior, but also our innermost thoughts …[and] that we be aware of our deepest impulses. A man must guard his heart from impurity like a wathcman protecting a hidden spring.

"… [W]e need to acquire a true and full understanding of the human body in its masculinity and femininity. This truth … must be lived in our hearts. It cannot be learned simply by reading a book — it demands a deep study of oneself. We must learn to distinguish true attraction — appreciating the bountiful riches of masculinity and femininity — from the simple reductions of lust. …[T]hrough Christ it is possible.

"There is nothing truly … free about lust. It doesn't aspire to goodness, truth, or beauty. Christ, however, far from stifling the noble desires of the heart, opens the way to their fulfillment."

Retreat — March 2011 —No. 2

The scripture passages suggested by the director were Isaiah 30:19-21 (the text of which he printed on the sheet he gave us), or Psalm 63:1-4, Isaiah 55:1-6, Philippians 1:3-9, "or choose one of your favorite passages." Then came the two questions and the suggestion about paying attention to feelings and desires.

I chose Psalm 63:1-4.
"A psalm of David, when he was in the wilderness of Judah.
O God, you are my God — for you I long!
For you my body yearns; for you my soul thirsts,
Like a land parched, lifeless, and without water.
So I look to you in the sanctuary to see your power and glory.
For your love is better than life; my lips offer you worship!"

Answering the question, "What happened in [my] prayer?" I wrote, "I realized I really do want God, my attempt at prayer is genuine, and that God's love is 'steadfast'  I promise to keep on worshipping God." And in response to "How do I feel about it?" I said, "i feel reassured."

The next morning, during Morning Prayer, I prayed Psalm 80, which asks God to restore his people and uses the image of a vine which God transplanted from Egypt but which has now been broken down. I had always taken this in the obvious sense of referring to the troubles which beset God's people, the Church. But that morning I suddenly referred it to myself personally and thought,"I am the vine which has been broken and trampled*, which needs to be restored
*by wasting time, increasingly on sexually attractive imagery over the internet"
In other words, and more fully, my sins break me down, destroy the interior beauty and fruitfulness of life which God plans for me.
Next I came to Isaiah 12:1-6, which reassured me that God does promise [me] salvation. The image of water from the fountain of salvation is a symbol of the Holy Spirit.
And then Psalm 81, about rejoicing in the Lord, came as a call to fidelity.

I presented these thoughts to my director at our meeting that morning, and as we came to toward the end of it, he gave me two more sheets, one titled "Bringing Feelings to Prayer," and the other, "Behold."

"Bringing Feelings to Prayer" says:

Bringing Feelings to Prayer

• What am I really feeling?
• How do I feel about what I am feeling?
• What do I really want?
• How do I feel about what I want?
• What am I like right now?
• How do I feel about what I am like?

Notice God:

• What is God's attitude and feeling about:
• what I am feeling?
• what I am trying to do?
• what I want?
• what I am like?
• How does God see me at this very moment?
• How is God looking at me?
• How close is God right now?

Notice Myself Again:

• What do I want of God?
• Can I … Will I … ask for what I want?

Stay with the questions. Perhaps repeat them and allow them to become more and more concrete.

From Jean Gill from Presence: The Journal of Spiritual Directors International Volume 3, No. 1, January 1997

And "Behold" says:

Behold

Part 1:

Before every prayer, I petition that God behold me. I pray, "that you, O God, see me, feel me, hear me, and know what I am feeling." or "You, O Lord, know what is going on with me. I'm in your presence. Know what has happened with me today." I let God gaze upon me – in wonder and honor.

This is not that I perceive or feel God, but simply that God sees me, feels me, beholds me. It is like Psalm 139.

At this time: I present my feelings (positive and negative, the whole gamut of feelings) and just ask God to see me as I am.

Part 2:

If you, O God, behold me, give me the grace to behold you. Let me see you. Give me that grace.

Examen: twice a day

Where were you, O God this (morning) (afternoon) of my life?

The review of this period is like giving the TV clicker (remote control) over to God. God (Christ) has it and is in control. Give God some time to tell you about his presence. The grace is to see God's presence to you.

When I met with my regular spiritual director a couple of weeks after the retreat, I showed him these two papers, and he liked them so much that he made copies for himself — to use with other directees, I suppose.

BTW, when "Behold" says to do the Examen twice a day, I think that is meant for the duration of the retreat. I think for normal use it's enough to ask God where he was today. Not that there's anything wrong with reflecting on it more frequently.

My meeting with my retreat director ended with his suggesting three more passages for me to bring to prayer — Romans 8:18-30, Matthew 6:25-34, and Matthew 11:25-30. He also suggested that I should be gentle with myself in prayer and let God spoil me with his goodness and let the Spirit take me where the Spirit wants me to go.

Theology of the Body — 2011/06/10

"The Greek word for romantic love is eros. …[I]t has trickled down into everyday language — for example, when we call something 'erotic.' This word does not appear in the [Greek texts of the] Bible. …

"The Bible speaks of ethos — the condition of the heart with regard to what is true and good — but not eros. In everyday speech, we often hear eros equated with lust. If what is erotic is always lustful, then Jesus would condemn eros along with lust. But is that the case?

"According to Plato, eros is a force within us drawing us toward the good, the beautiful, and the true. … Though the word isn't used, eros is present in Genesis — in the call to become one flesh. … When romantic love is channeled to this end [the communion of persons], it is deeply connected to ethos — what is good and right in God's eyes.

"In this light, eros is not the same as lust. Lust strains not for the beautiful and the good, but for the possession of a person for his or her sexual value. Especially in the Platonic sense, eros strives towards selfless love.

"Jesus doesn't condemn the heart or romantic love. … His call to overcome lust is a call to embrace the good, the beautiful, and the true — eros rightly understood. …

"Only when our hearts are free can we know the true joy of eros. Passion (eros) and purity (ethos) are not opposed to one another. Instead they are called to meet and bear fruit in the human heart. Christ's words are not exclusively a prohibition. They are a call to experience the fullness of erotic love."

Just a reminder: when I post things, whether it's on Theology of the Body or any other topic, of course I hope you'll find it interesting and worth reading. But I also welcome questions and discussion.

Retreat — March 2011 —No. 1

     My spiritual director suggested last summer that I should go on another 8-day directed retreat similar to the one I had made in December, 2009. Hoping for nicer weather, I signed up for one from March 23-31, 2011. Being closer in time to it, I can probably provide a bit more detail about what it was like than I did with the first one.

     I went to the same retreat house, but had a different director. I posted some photos from the earlier retreat here. This time my room wasn't in the dormitory wing, but in the main house, in a wing which does not show in any of the pictures, but it was about as spartan as the one in the dormitory wing from 2009. My daily routine was similar to what I described under that heading in this post about 2009. In other words, retire around 11:00, rise between 6:00 and 6:30, breakfast at 7:00, meet with director at 10:30, lunch at noon, Mass at 5:00, dinner at 6:00.

     As was the case in 2009, the retreatants and directors gathered in the "Fireplace Room" after dinner for introductions and orientation. The one who was in charge explained the daily routine. One thing she said was that the first part of daily Mass (liturgy of the Word) would be in that room, then we would go to the central foyer for the liturgy of the Eucharist, and after Communion we would come back to our own seats in the fireplace room for the conclusion of the Mass. Afterwards, when the other directors were introducing themselves, one of them, Fr. Paul Sullivan, S.J. said that the remark about returning to our own seats reminded him of an incident when he was a young priest serving at Cheverus High School in Portland, Maine. One morning at breakfast, one of the priests got up to make himself some toast, leaving his unfinished breakfast behind. An old Jesuit arrived, saw the food on the table, sat down, ate it, got up, and went out of the room. Then the priest whose meal it was returned with his toast, saw the empty dishes, and said, "What the hell!??"

     Each director was assigned four or five retreatants; my director had four of us. We happened to have the same meeting room as I had had the previous time, and again I happened to have 10:30 as my time to meet with him. He gave us all a sheet listing some scripture passages, and said each of us should chose one and focus on it in our prayer between than and our first meeting with him the next day. We should think about two questions: "What happened in prayer (2 or 3 lines)," and"How do I feel about it?" He told us to pay attention to our feelings and desires.

Happenings

Last Saturday, June 4, was my first day helping to run the sailboat races this summer. About ten or a dozen people are involved running the races. We have a large power boat from which we signal starts and race courses to the sailors. Two smaller power boats are used to place marks for them to sail around, at directions and distances we think will give good racing under conditions at the time. When they finish the race, we also record the finishes. We generally leave shore sometime between 11:00 and 11:30. The racing takes place from 12:30 until sometime around 4:00 (depending on how well the wind holds). Then we go ashore, and usually spend an hour or so relaxing on the porch of the yacht club. So it makes for a pretty comfortable day — with enough time before and after to attend to at least some errands or projects.

Membership dues in the club aren't cheap, but I stay on largely because I think it's good for me to have something to get me out of the house and interacting with other people.

Catholics and the LGBT Community

An alert reader (Cody Dickerson) has included a link to this article in a recent comment. It is titled "Joseph Sullivan: Catholics are reaching out to the LGBT community." It is from the Buffalo News, and the author, Joseph Sullivan is identified as a retired auxiliary bishop of the Diocese of Brooklyn.

There are two important things about this piece, IMO. First is the point it makes, that increasing numbers of Catholics are accepting of lgbt people. Second is the fact that the writer is a Catholic bishop who is pleased by this trend.

One reason I have for writing this blog is to let people know that the Catholic Church does not hate gays. Its official position is that homosexuals should be welcomed into our community. Obviously, we have our share of homophobes, but this article suggests that fortunately their number is decreasing. Yes, we have our teachings about sexual morality, but we have our teachings about other areas of morality too.  What we hope is that we will all grow closer to God and live increasingly holy lives through the power of his grace at work in us.

Theology of the Body — 2011/06/03

"If the body is not evil, what about the heart?

" … [C]ertain modern thinkers have accused the heart of being dominated by lust in its three forms. Nietzsche interprets human action in terms of the 'will to power' — which is akin to what the Apostle John calls 'the pride of life.' Marx argues that history is shaped by the desire to acquire and protect wealth — in John's words, 'the lust of the eyes.' And according to Freud, everything is ultimately driven by the sex urge — which is to say, 'the lust of the flesh.'
" … Looking at the Bible as a whole … we see a different picture of man: he is afflicted by lust, but not defined by it.

"How is the 'man of lust' described by Jesus and the Apostle John different from the man described by Nietzsche, Marx, and Freud? First, Christ does not declare the heart a hopeless case, entirely captive to the whims of lust. Instead, he calls it to purity. If the heart was lustful at the core, it would be incapable of purity. Second, Christ offers the power of redemption. Purification isn't something we do on our own — it is accomplished through Christ. God created us by grace, and he can redeem us by grace.

" … We are not helpless pawns of our sex instinct, or our desire for power or wealth. When we let Christ's words sink in, we begin to hear an echo of God's original plan in our hearts. Looking back to 'the beginning,'* we learn that we are called to something better. We are called to love. We are called to live the truth of our bodies, in their masculinity and femininity. This is our heritage from the beginning, the heritage of the heart, which goes far deeper than lust in its three forms. Through Christ's redeeming grace, the heart's fundamental longing for love is affirmed and empowered."


*The Pope began his series of talks on Theology of the Body with an extensive analysis of the meaning of the verses in Genesis which tell of the creation and fall of man. When I began this series of posts, I though it would be more interesting if I skipped over that part and started with the part about Jesus' "Sermon on the Mount." There are occasional references to "the beginning," but I'll have to come back to the full treatment as the conclusion of this series, which is still a long way off.

Welcome New Followers — 2011/06/02

Usually I procrastinate on welcoming new followers and calling your attention to them (as I do on just about everything else). But to get three in the space of a few days is remarkable, and I think they're all worth knowing about.

Jacob Woods has a blog titled "Good as Gay." On it he describes himself and the blog this way, "Jacob is gay. He eats, breathes, and sleeps lgbt issues. Currently he is a rural psychology student working to educate the simpletons. Enjoy his blog and his other creative meanderings!" He lives in northern Minnesota, where he attends college. In addition to lgbt issues, his blog also talks about his thoughts on religion and philosophy. During the time I've been following, he has been a frequent poster on his blog. He is quite self-assured, but also shows an openness to discussion and persuasion, which is why I find him worth reading and responding to.

A couple of days after Jacob, Cody Dickerson decided to follow. His blog has the startling title "Angels of Sodom." Look at the blog for an explanation of the title. I'll just say that there is an interesting twist behind the title. He says, "I am a gay student at the University of Pittsburgh. I would like to become a more active part of the GLBT community, getting involved and trying to make life better for us. This is just a start! You can contact me at angelsofsodom@gmail.com" Since he began blogging in  March of this year, he has made 47 posts. I haven't read them all, but what I have seen discuss his take on various gay-related issues. I very much appreciate the fact that he decided to follow my blog after I posted a comment disagreeing with him on the question of gay marriage, and a courteous exchange followed.

My newest follower is Thomas, who says, "I am a 16-year-old german guy. I am very likely gay, but I am not 100% sure." His blog is called "My Thought Repository." He started it in May and has made seven posts through June 1, so you can get in on the ground floor and see how it develops. He has told us some basics about himself and given a couple of vignettes into his life. His English is excellent, so you'll have no trouble understanding it.

The blogs are different, but they all present thoughtful young men. Check them out and see for yourself.

I am grateful that these new followers have decided to follow my blog. I hope they will find it interesting and worthwhile. And of course, I appreciate all my followers. Thank you all.