Month's Mind

It used to be customary in the Catholic Church to offer a Mass for someone who had died 30 days after the death or the funeral (called a "Month's Mind), 90 days after, and a year after. I understand there is something similar in Jewish practice, at least as far as the month and the "Jahrzeit" (sorry, I don't know the Yiddish spelling).

So for Chris's Month's Mind, here's a prayer from the Catholic funeral liturgy. Lord God, source and destiny of our lives, in your loving providence you gave us Chris to grow in wisdom, age, and grace. Now you have called him to yourself. As we grieve over the loss of one so young, we seek to understand your purpose. Draw him to yourself and give him full stature in Christ. May he stand with all the angels and saints, who know your love and praise your saving will. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

In Memoriam: Razz

Chris, whom we knew as Razz, was utterly charming. Many of you have posted very movingly of how he touched you and how much he meant to you. Many of you were closer to him than I was, although I always admired his big-heartedness and looked forward to reading his posts. But I thought he had a curious sense of privacy. Some of the posts which gave the clearest insight into the caring side of his personality got taken down, while those that showed the more fun-loving side were left up. My three strongest memories are no longer there.

First was the account of taking Jay out for coffee. After the breakup with Dave, Chris was reluctant to enter into another relationship, and Jay was really sad because of it. Chris suggested they go for coffee, and at one point he said to Jay something like, "So how are you enjoying our first date?" Needless to say, Jay was ecstatic.

Then there was the day Ste and Cate arrived, unannounced, at the university in America, and Chris arrived to find them waiting at his door. His absolute and simple joy at their visit shone through his post about it.

And above all there was the story of how his friendship with Ste began. They were very young schoolboys (maybe second grade) who got into a fight. Chris wanted to apologize and followed Ste home, but Ste was having none of it. So he sat on the sidewalk outside Ste's house all afternoon until suppertime, when Ste's mum invited him in for dinner. And they made up and became friends for ever.

I believe the scripture which says, "God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God and God in him." (1 John 4:16) It is clear that Chris lived in the love of his wonderful family and friends and that in turn he gave much love to them. Surely it was the love he experienced in his family that taught him to reach out in love to ask Ste's forgiveness, to introduce himself at the age of six to people on Brighton Beach, and to form such deep friendships throughout his life — or as it says in his post "My life has been perfect"

dance

like no one's watching you

sing

like no one can hear you

love

like you've never been hurt before

live

like it's heaven here on earth.

I also believe in a life beyond our earthly existence; and the love in which Chris lived here gives me much hope that he will now enjoy a life where there is no pain or illness, where love and joy endure for ever, and where all who love him can be with him at last.

My heartfelt condolences go out to his loving family, to Steven, and to all his friends, new and old. May his memory be a joy and may faith and hope ease the sorrow of your loss.

Razz

I got an e-mail from Razz's friend Ste this evening. He writes as follows.

This is Steven (Ste).  I was Chris’s (Razz) childhood friend.  You may have read about me in his blog.  The reason I am writing is to let you know that he passed away three weeks ago on the 26th.  He died from complications with pneumonia, which quickly worsened in a few days.  His lungs were already weakened by the metastasis, and he didn’t have any strength left to fight it.  He died the evening of the 26th.  His family, Jay, myself, and my fiancée were with him during his last hours.

He goes on to tell of finding the post I had made about Razz through my comment on Mirrorboy's blog, and that he will tell Razz's parents of all the friends he had online. And he concludes with

A special request.  Would you mind letting someone named Niv know of the news.  I know that Chris chatted with him quite often online, but I cannot find his contact information in Chris’s blog.

I don't recognize the name Niv. If any of you do, please pass the word on to him. And would you please let me know so I can assure Ste that Niv has been informed.

Men's Conference — Edited

I'm planning to go to a "Men's Conference" sponsored by the Archdiocese of Boston tomorrow. It runs from 9:00 a.m to 6:00 p.m. So I won't be around here much tomorrow. I'll let you know if there is anything of interest relating to this blog.

Edited to add:  When I woke up this morning I realized that I have too much to do here to spend all day in Boston. So I'm not going after all, and won't have any news to pass on. But I still need to be doing lots of other stuff for a while.

Later, dudes.

Income Tax

Usually I file my returns (meaning the forms — you Brits use the word "return" when you mean "refund") early — "early" defined as "before noon on the due date."

Well I missed being early this year, but soon I'll get started, and I hope to be finished timely (or else to be owed refunds so that there will be no penalty for being late). I have both a federal return and a state one to do. The state form depends on information from the federal, so I'll do the federal first.

Happy Easter

It's getting toward the end of Easter here, and it's already over in the eastern hemisphere, but I hope it is/has been a blessed day for all my Christian readers, and I hope some of the day's joy has reached everybody else as well.

It was a fairly busy time for me, as I helped at my parish's vigil mass Saturday evening, and at the "overflow" 9:00 a.m. Mass in the gymnasium of the former parish school, and also at the 11:00 a.m. in the church. Then I came home and heated up a boneless ham and boiled some potatoes and some beans for my brother and me. Now I'm able to relax for a bit.

Have You Heard from Razz …

since March 22. That was the last time he authorized a comment on his blog. I tried to post one a week or so ago, just saying I hoped he could let us know how he's doing, but he hasn't authorized it.

So I'm wondering how he's doing with the latest round of treatment. If anybody is at liberty to say anything, I'd like to know, and I'm sure other people would, too.

Holy Week — What God Wants

On March 30, I received the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession or Penance as it used to be called). After I had confessed the sins I needed to, the priest said, "God doesn't want your good works. God wants you." He went on to explain what he meant and I can't reproduce it precisely, but the basic point is that it is us he wants to have with him. Our works are passing things, but we are not. Dean Grey, of Exploding Doughnut, told on his blog of coming on the Chicago Children's Choir rehearsing in a room in the Chicago Cultural Center. They sang a gospel hymn with a refrain which included the words, "I love you. I need you to survive." Maybe that's supposed to be us talking to God. But it is also how God feels about us.

It has been a commonplace point in Lenten preaching to say that our sins are what put Jesus on the cross. The priest I went to made that point with respect to my sins. Then he went on to say, "and Jesus says it's okay." God wants me, and if Jesus needs to go to the cross so he can have me, it's okay. God loves me, and you, and needs us to survive. So he'll pay any price to have us. So it's okay that we put Jesus on the cross. The priest had said in a talk he had just given, that as Good Friday and Easter approach, we should ask ourselves, do we believe what God says. Do we trust his love?

So that's what I hope you'll be thinking about as this week unfolds. Is there a God whose love for you is so great that it's okay that Jesus died, if only he can have you? Do you trust God? Do you trust his love? Will you let him have you?

Changes

It has been some time since I began revising the links in the sidebar. I hadn't done all I wanted to but, typically, let it slide. Now, thanks to some good advice from Mirrorboy on my music blog (take a bow, Mboy), I've decided to have another go at it.

I've created a blogroll, just below the "Good Sites" list and moved a few of you from the old list to the new one. My concept is this: the "Good Sites" is now reserved for people who share my views on morality (or in the case of Two World Collision take them seriously) and are significantly devoted to discussion of the moral issues. The blogroll includes people I like whose blogs are more in the nature of personal journals and whose posts aren't too racy or overtly hostile to my message (subjective judgment, based on overall impression).

The blogroll is still a work in progress. I expect to be adding blogs to it as I go along. If I follow your blog, I'll at least give serious consideration to including it.