First was the account of taking Jay out for coffee. After the breakup with Dave, Chris was reluctant to enter into another relationship, and Jay was really sad because of it. Chris suggested they go for coffee, and at one point he said to Jay something like, "So how are you enjoying our first date?" Needless to say, Jay was ecstatic.
Then there was the day Ste and Cate arrived, unannounced, at the university in America, and Chris arrived to find them waiting at his door. His absolute and simple joy at their visit shone through his post about it.
And above all there was the story of how his friendship with Ste began. They were very young schoolboys (maybe second grade) who got into a fight. Chris wanted to apologize and followed Ste home, but Ste was having none of it. So he sat on the sidewalk outside Ste's house all afternoon until suppertime, when Ste's mum invited him in for dinner. And they made up and became friends for ever.
I believe the scripture which says, "God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God and God in him." (1 John 4:16) It is clear that Chris lived in the love of his wonderful family and friends and that in turn he gave much love to them. Surely it was the love he experienced in his family that taught him to reach out in love to ask Ste's forgiveness, to introduce himself at the age of six to people on Brighton Beach, and to form such deep friendships throughout his life — or as it says in his post "My life has been perfect"
dance
like no one's watching you
sing
like no one can hear you
love
like you've never been hurt before
live
like it's heaven here on earth.
I also believe in a life beyond our earthly existence; and the love in which Chris lived here gives me much hope that he will now enjoy a life where there is no pain or illness, where love and joy endure for ever, and where all who love him can be with him at last.
My heartfelt condolences go out to his loving family, to Steven, and to all his friends, new and old. May his memory be a joy and may faith and hope ease the sorrow of your loss.

15 comments:
Hello NG. Although I never had a chance to interact with him in blogland, I'm also feeling this loss. I would like to think that I was one of the people to whom he introduced himself when he was six.
Ah, NG, such an honest and heartfelt post.
@ all: Dan and I support The Trevor Project and that is a good memorial cuz Razz commented with such sensitivity to my post last Nov. 2 [dia de los muertos] and posts about the movie Prayers for Bobby.
Peace to him and to those he loved.
I hope all the young guys [or older] who read our blogs and have yet to comment [and that's fine...btw] will heed Razz/Chris' words and someday be able to follow his joyful example of a young confident gay man who was proud and knew how to love. And was loved in return. He cared about you, even if you are invisible. We'll jump in and listen and help if u make a comment or email one of us.
That's the "Razz Way"... I did not read or don't remember the 6 yo Brighton beach story. Can someone share?
Also if anyone has some choice bits from his missing blogs, perhaps we can share some Razz gems we missed.
steevo in cali
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A fine tribute Naturgesetz. He'll be sorely missed but happily remembered. I didn't catch the coffee meet post, but I read the other two.
It was the story of Razz and Ste that I referred to in my post. (I think they may have been 9 yrs old though). Sadly I don't have a copy of that post. It really was very touching.
torchy!
The thing about greeting people at age six comes from the end of his post "Jay and Stephen were brilliant"
http://doinmeheadin.blogspot.com/2008/11/jay-and-stephen-were-smashing.html
(sorry, I don't know how to do a hyperlink in a comment)
It's a "Razz fact" in italics.
RC, there are pics of him on his blog and in some of the posts about him. Maybe you'll recognize him.
i see where you're coming from, but i don't think that's it. i'm pretty sure they were about 9.
torchy!
Soz, torchy! The thing about age six was a response to Steevo and it's about Chris walking along Brighton Beach with his mum.
As for the fight and apology that began the friendship with Ste, age nine could indeed be it. My memory would have placed it a year or two earlier, but certainly not as young as six. Anyway, it gives us a glimpse of how big-hearted he was even as a schoolboy. Too bad the post is no longer there. The wealth of detail really enhanced the basic story.
i remember the meeting ste story and sitting on the curb all afternoon.
maybe ste or jay have it. they mite share in time. I do wish we could hear from ste and/or jay and tell them ourselves what razz/chris meant to us...
@NG: Can you tell ste in email how we all feel? And how is jay?
Here is a now prescient post... I think razz knew and may ste too...
http://doinmeheadin.blogspot.com/2009/01/talking-about-death-at-local.html
down to ashes and hoovers even...
steevo
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Very nice, NG. I regret not keeping up with Razz's blog or speaking with him online. Very heartfelt post, indeed.
I hope you are well.
Much Love,
Steve
NG
thanks for your thoughts and as i kneew him for only a short time and very little more than what his blog told us, i did know him to be a strong and brave individual
take care and be safe
bob
Thanks for the beautiful comments.
@ steevo — I'm sure the post about talking about death at the local, as well as the conversation itself and the post "My life has been perfect" all were motivated by the knowledge that his life in this world might not last much longer. torchy! sent Steven an e-mail giving links to the tribute posts he was aware of.
As you said, Jay is likely to be as devastated as Steven and Chris's family. At the moment, I don't know how to get in touch with him, and I suppose any inquiry would have to go through Steven. I don't want to make a pest of myself, but at some point it would make sense to ask him to pass our condolences on to Jay and the other housemates.
Keep up the good work! And may the Lord bless you and fortify you with courage and wisdom!
Bless you, Naturgesetz. You always write, with such eloquence and sensitivity, what dullards like me would like to say.
G =]
Gurney, you are no dullard. But thanks for the compliment. It's gratifying to know that people think I've written well in memory of Razz.
naturgesetz!
I think you summed it all up in this touching post.
May Razz rest in peace and well wishes to his family and friends.
-Dean
Thanks, Dean.
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