My friend whom I call Zack (there are earlier posts; check under the label "friend") came to visit me for a couple of days. First he went for dinner at the home of the mother of the man whose funeral we attended last October. He had been that man's personal care attendant, and friend, for five years. The mother invited me to join them as well, and we had a pleasant evening, with many reminiscences of the son/friend.
Then Zack and I came to my home. He had said that he thought he would be willing to go naked with me on this visit. So when we got here I noted that he was in a "clothing optional" house, and we promptly removed our clothes and sat down, he on a sofa and I on a chair which faced in the same direction. We talked about the visit and dinner at his late friend's home, and I told of a cousin who seems to be comfortable with nudity.
The following evening (Tuesday) we went to Boston for dinner and an opera, and on Wednesday we went to the Cabot Street Cinema to see "The Artist." There were also a couple of errands to buy food, but most of the time we spent in the house, and most of that was in the nude. At first Zack seemed a little hesitant to be facing me while standing up, but by Wednesday morning he was completely comfortable with it, as I had been from Monday evening.
The first thing I should note is that during the whole time he was here we did nothing sexual. There were a couple of times when my thoughts (he's an attractive young man) led to a passing moment of beginning arousal, but they passed quickly. He told of something similar when I was telling him about my cousin. But there was nothing even remotely approaching sexual activity.
We talked a lot about the loss of his friend and about tangential matters, about regrets we had over times when each of us did things that we would like to be able to undo. We watched a Red Sox game on TV. I showed him my church.
But what was it like being naked with him? Well, as I said he's an attractive young man, but he's attractive with his clothes on, and I doubt I'd have felt any differently if we had been clothed the whole time. I will say though, that it was satisfying being able to be naked in front of a friend, to share my nudity with him and to know (because he was doing the same) that it wasn't freaking him out. I'm still "processing" the experience, though. What's the point of it? Is there some low-grade exhibitionism in wanting to be seen naked? Is there some low-grade voyeurism in wanting to see someone naked? How is this similar to or different from guys going skinny-dipping? To what extent is it just a matter of being happy to have a friend with whom I can share the enjoyment of nudity which I have had for some time?
Basically, I think it was a positive experience to be able to be naked without sex and without shame with a friend, and I hope there will be further opportunities for nudity with Zack, and even with others (thinking about that cousin, and a couple of straight friends). I think that each time it will be increasingly comfortable, and I am grateful for his visit, which ended Thursday morning, about 2 1/2 days after he got here.
Maybe, I'll have further thoughts about it to post here, or in response to any comments.
An der Grabstätte von Kronprinzessin Cecilie
1 week ago
7 comments:
It won't surprise you that I was somewhat surprised to read all this, but at least you have a friend :)
I believe for most of us our attitudes about nudity have been conditioned by our upbringing.
In my home from the moment that we children were able to bathe ourselves nudity was an absolute no-no. I was the 5th of 6 children and so close in age to my younger brother that I have no recollection of even seeing him naked as an infant. I happen to be circumcised, probably because of the influence of the doctor who delivered me who was Jewish. You may find it hard to believe but I have no idea whether any or all of my four brothers were.
Yet, in high school PhysEd we were required to take communal showers and to swim in the pool naked. It was just the way it was. I considered it perfectly normal, and had no discomfort being naked in front of my classmates, nor being in the presence of my naked classmates.
That is the only exception. Because of my upbringing I am uncomfortable to an extreme to be naked before others outside a locker room and even more uncomfortable in the presence of others who are naked.
Many years ago I attended an Off Broadway play in which the cast was nude virtually the entire performance. I enjoyed the play immensely - I'm certain it was because it was impersonal as if the things happening on the stage were on a movie or TV screen.
However, when the play ended the entire cast formed a naked reception line at the exit through which the audience had to pass. They were all very pleasant, thanking us for attending, asking us how we enjoyed the play, etc.
I don't believe I have ever been more embarrassed in my life!
I make no moral judgement. Propriety and impropriety are purely personal matters in my view.
But, heehee... should we ever meet please keep your duds on!
Thank you both for the comments. I had intended to reply sooner and in some detail, but I never seemed to have the time. I still hope to get to it. But for now, I'll just say, Martin, if you were surprised, I hope you weren't shocked; and Ed, my experience growing up was similar, but our school didn't have a pool.
More to come, I hope.
nooo, not shocked, but surprised? yes indeed :)
The human body is one of God's most beautiful works. Why cover it up with clothes? I think part of being comfortable with nudity in the presence of and with others comes from being completely comfortable with ones self. As mentioned above, upbringing plays a part in it too. Nudity and sexuality aren't joined at the hip. I find myself wearing little if anything at home sometimes. It's just more comfortable. I think the male form is beautiful and can be fully enjoyed without sex. That you have someone with whom you can enjoy each others company while being nude is fantastic!
Hmmm! This does sound like rather a German thing. On the other hand, it's also a sign of trust and respect to each other.
Thanks for your comments, Deadwing and Edmund. Please excuse my slowness in responding.
Deadwing, I agree with you.
Edmund, certainly, FKK was largely developed by Germans over 100 years ago, but early on, according to a play I attended a year ago, it was also part of the practices of the Shakers. As you say, in this case, it involved trust and respect. As my post today on Theology of the Body suggests, it may also have been a way of non-verbal communication.
Post a Comment