Thinking about St. Valentine's Day

Several bloggers mentioned how sad it made them feel that they didn't have a special someone to be with on Valentine's Day. OTOH, being alone didn't bother me at all. I've been thinking about the difference in our feelings. I don't mean to criticize anybody, but I'm always sorry to see people feeling bad, and it would be better, IMO, if folks didn't feel unhappy on that occasion. So why the difference between my feelings and other people's?

There have been a number of people I've known that I would have liked to have an intimate friendship with. But whatever longings I've had have been directed toward a specific individual. I've never had the feeling, "I'm doomed to unhappiness unless I find someone to love." So I ask myself why so many people have the idea that their lives are necessarily unhappy/unfulfilled/miserable/[insert your own adjective] unless and until they are in an intimate relationship with someone. Did they grow up in a culture which propagandized them to believe that they couldn't be happy alone, whereas I grew up in one which was less fixated on "sexual fulfillment?" Is it just a different personality? Are people more impatient now?

Anyway, it has seemed to me that people (and I see them even in their mid teens) who are convinced that they cannot be happy until they have "someone" are actually making themselves miserable when they don't have to be. I've never had "someone." There were a couple of times when I seemed close to developing a true and lasting emotionally intimate friendship. And when the other person broke it off, it was painful. But the pain subsided and went away, leaving only nostalgia. The rest of the time, I was fine.

So I certainly understand when someone feels the pain of an unrequited love or a broken relationship. But my best wish for people in other situations of singleness is that they could learn to stop making themselves miserable by telling themselves that they are miserable. I'd much rather see people being able to be content, enjoying the good things they do have.

What it comes down to is: I want to encourage people who were truly unhappy about not having a Valentine on Valentine's Day to try to rethink, to ask themselves why they can't be happy and single if other people can. I hope people can question their assumptions, be patient, and let themselves be content if it's at all possible. I'm sad that they're sad.