Background. When I was growing up in the 1940's and 50's, the emphasis in the Catholic Church seemed to be on obeying the commandments and avoiding sin. Then in the early 60's there was the second Vatican Council, which shifted the emphasis to being enlivened by God as part of his people and being actively engaged in the world.
One of the courses was on sacraments, and it was taught by Father "Christopher," one of the monks. He was 57 years old and had had a heart attack and it was expected that sooner or later he would have another, which would be fatal. In addition to teaching, he was the monastery's liturgist, the man responsible for seeing to it that all the services were properly performed according to the rules and basic principles. I admired him a lot.
One day in class, he paused in the midst of his lecture and said, "You join the monastery thinking that if you follow the rules and obey your superiors everything will be fine. Then as you come to the end you learn that it's all about love and you find yourself wondering if you've made the grade."
Postscript. We wannabe monks would go early every morning to be altar servers for the monks' private Masses in the "crypt" of the monastery. On the morning of February 13, 1967, Brother "William" came to me and asked "Would you mind serving Father Christopher's Mass?" Mind? I'd be thrilled! So I said, "Okay." Father Christopher had an unusual habit. When he was saying the Our Father in the Mass, he didn't want the server to say "Sed libera nos a malo" (But deliver us from evil) after he said "Et ne nos inducas in tentationem" (And lead us not into temptation). So he'd whisper the entire Our Father. But that morning, I managed to catch his whisper and I chimed in with "sed libera nos a malo," and felt very pleased.
Later that morning one of the monks found him in the corridor of the monastery with his books and papers for class, lying face down, dead.
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